Reasons Why Un-Air-Conditioned Classrooms During a Heat Wave Are Awesome

  1. The roar of seventeen box fans blocks out the professor’s boring lecture.

  2. Your frizzy hair creates nesting habitats for birds and small woodland creatures.

  3. Excessive heat increases the chances that your 83-year-old astronomy professor will pass out. Woo hoo, class is cancelled!

  4. Walking around the room to avoid the kid with oniony B.O. creates a cool breeze.

  5. Great excuse to wear muscle shirts to show off your guns.

  6. Sweat stains on the shirt of the guy in front of you create a Rorschach test. Bonus points in Psych!

  7. You avoid carpal tunnel flare-ups, since your pen is too slippery with sweat to use for taking notes.

  8. The reek of hot garbage covers the smell of pot.

  9. You save money on trips to the sauna.

  10. You learn about abstract art by studying the ass crack sweat stains on everyone’s desk.

  11. Getting up every three minutes for a drink of water is great exercise.

  12. Your mind is clear, while your poor dog back in your air-conditioned apartment is probably having nightmares about the North Pole.

  13. Those bone-chilling dorm showers actually feel refreshing!

  14. You walk out of the building and look like you just got a good pump in. So swole.

  15. Nothing beats a lecture about climate change while living through climate change!


By Kathryn Harrick, So-so Jackson, Gia Muto, and Juliana Gray

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